Self Confidence Treatment in Barrow-in-Furness
Having self-confidence does not mean that you are good at everything, it means that you have an accurate sense of your abilities – you are aware of the areas you feel competent while also able to recognise where your skills are lacking.
Having confidence in yourself means you can take calculated risks because you have a realistic sense of your abilities.
Where does lack of confidence come from?
Lack of confidence and self-esteem are learned behaviours, usually stemming from an uncomfortable or traumatic event; these events typically happen in early childhood when we see things in very black and white terms – you are either good or bad, smart or stupid. These usually stem from unthinking comments made by parents, teachers or friends which can result in a poor body image or crippling under confidence and it can cause you to avoid situations where you think you might fail.
Overly protective parents who discourage a child’s moves towards independence or those with unrealistic expectations of their children can also negatively impact on self-confidence – if a child doesn’t get reassurance from their parents that they are capable, they can grow up feeling inadequate. For example, a parent might lose their temper with a child who is struggling to tie their own shoe laces. The child later hears the parent discussing this with one of their friends and they feel embarrassed and ashamed. The child could then grow up holding the opinion that they are slow in all areas.
How to treat lack of confidence
Some of the work we will do will be looking back at the messages you received growing up – we don’t do this to lay blame but to look back at those messages through adult eyes: maybe the parent had unrealistic expectations because an older sibling was quite fast at learning to tie their laces, maybe Mum was stressed out at work and was taking out her frustration on you on that day and telling her friend about it was her way of off-loading the guilt she felt at over-reacting. Using cognitive hypnotherapy techniques, we can look to reverse those feelings, perhaps see that they weren’t failures at all, and start to empower you to move on with self-assurance.
In some cases, rebuilding confidence comes from making small but incremental steps to “test” your skills and assumptions about yourself in a given area. As you achieve each step you gain a clearer sense of your abilities and your self-worth grows.
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